'We can’t ever get a cat because of FIL': Couple plans to adopt a rescue in their first home, but MIL issues an allergy ultimatum, igniting a family feud over house rules

Two pawrents-to-be are about to close on their furst house, excited for independence and the idea of adopting a rescue kitty. During a celebratory dinner, the meowversation shifts when the father-in-law's cat allergies take center stage. What starts as light banter turns serimeows when the mother-in-law says a cat would mean no future visits. That stings, especially since he happily greets neighbor cats outdoors, and it feels odd to hear firm rules about a home that isn't theirs yet.

Gratitude and a defensive tail-flick can coexist. This couple spent years saving while living with parents and are finally ready for purrmission to choose their own companions. Allergies are real, but so is having autonomy. While outdoor chin scratches are not the same as indoor dander, the message lands like someone batting at their boundaries with both paws.

Their plan is simple and reasonable: adopt after closing, at their address, not the in-laws' place. Feelings are valid on all sides, but it is fair to want whisker-room to build a life together under their own roof, with visitors welcome when everyone can breathe easy.

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It's unfortunate that FIL’s allergic, but feelings matter. With a bit of planning and clear boundaries, short visits shouldn’t be off the table. New home, new rhythms, and flexibility can keep everyone comfortable.
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Ultimately, it’s your home, your rules. If they aren’t on the mortgage or paying the bills, their preferences don’t get veto power. Build the life you want!
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In the end, you have to choose whether a cat is worth fewer in-law visits. You can still visit them, and if FIL’s allergies are severe, it’s reasonable for him to skip your house.
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